Feeding off the Wind’s Energy
I felt my heart beating out of my chest, my hands were shaking, and my teeth we chattering as I watched Kristin fly up in the gigantic wind tunnel. Oh my god, I’m next, but you can do this. Remember to keep your chin up, keep your legs slightly apart, arch your back, keep your arms at a 90 degree angle, and relax! I repeated that under my breath over and over again trying to keep it in my mind so I could used it when I was flying. Kristin was doing everything perfectly. Her dirty blond hair was flying in the wind and her eyes were sparkling like the stars in the sky. I was sitting on the edge of the long cushioned bench with about ten other people, tapping my feet on the floor. The wind tunnel looked like a gigantic long glass tube. There was a fan under us and a wire net above the fan, somehow balancing the instructor. It looked like a death trap. It's only 90 seconds in your life, you can do this, I told myself. I watched Kristin was feeding off of the wind’s energy. She was practically bouncing off the walls. I waved to Kristin and flashed her a smile trying to not show how scared I was. The little bravery I had, went away. I can not do this. This is crazy. How did I get into this? I’m going to die! I was just getting myself worked up, and the more I thought like that, I started to believed it.
I can’t believe Kristin talked me into this. I thought as I watched her. Earlier that day we were at the Luge with my dad. The Luge is a track that runs through some of the forest, and drive in contraption that works like a go-cart. We had gone down the track a few time and then Singapore weather hit. (It started raining.) So we ran to I-Fly because it was close to the Luge and it was inside. Kristin came up with the “great” idea to actually participate in it. Somehow they convinced me to do it.
I watch Kristin come flying out of the tunnel with a mile long smile wrapped around her face.
“Hana, it was amazing! You’ll love it!” She told me. She sounded like she really meant it. How could something so petrifying be so amazing?, but then I remembered, Kristin is fearless.
Then it was my turn. Shaking, I stood up. My stomach started punching me in every spot possible to punch. My heart stopped, then rapidly started beating. You can do this, Hana, I tried to tell myself. The instructor motioned his hand for me to come in. I tried to swallow, closed my eyes, crossed my hands over my chest (like they had to told us to), said a little prayer, and fell into the wind like I had no legs. I was expecting that I would be swallowed up by the wind, but the instructor caught me right away. I opened my eyes a tiny bit and realised that I was floating. It felt amazing! The wind was hugging me and making sure that I stayed afloat. The instructor guided me into the correct position. Even though I was trying to control it, my legs were flailing. I forced my legs to be still then it felt even better than before. I felt the most amazing rush of energy as the wind gushed through my face. I was flying. This is amazing! I thought as the warmth of happiness spread throughout my entire body. I started bouncing off the was like they were trampolines.I was having the absolute time of my life.
When I looked through the glass window I saw Kristin waving and looking so proud towards me. All of the fear had escaped from my body and I now felt fearless. I couldn’t believe that I conquered this fear because I felt so scared. Now I felt so powerful and invincible. I flew out of the wind and landed in a confident position on the platform. My gigantic smile collided with Kristin’s like a perfect harmony. She gave me a thumbs up. And we sat down on that long blue bench and waited for our next turn.
Vignette Reflection
1. Compare your pre-sample to your published vignette. How did you improve your writing?
I put a lot more inner thinking and shampoo in the published vignette.
2. What did you do well in your vignette?
I think I did really well putting a clear image in the readers mind by using descriptions
3. What area(s) do you still need to work on?
I still need to work on inner thinking a bit more.
